X-rated Due to Graphic Content

I want something to happen that will make me laugh. 

That’s what I thought yesterday as I was heading out the door for my afternoon walk.  I thought it then just forgot all about it. 

I went to the bank, stopped by the post office and then for some reason out of the blue I popped into the local second hand shop.  It’s not the best second hand shop because everything is overpriced for the most part, which is why I hardly go in there.  Who the hell wants to buy a used wooden hand held vanity mirror for $20? 

On my way out of the shop, I briefly stopped by the bookshelf which was in complete and utter disarray.  Books were everywhere, coming out of boxes.  There was row after row of shelves laden with bad romances from the 90s–the one with those garish illustrations featuring muscly men enrapture.  Then something caught my eye.  It was a scrapbook, but not just any scrapbook. 

Image

It was a…

RECOGNISABLY

SOPHISTICATED

UNASHAMEDLY

EFFERVESCENT

DEVASTATINGLY

FASHIONABLE

ALL IN ALL AN

IMPECCABLY EMBELLISHED 

SCRAPBOOK

How could I not pick THAT up? 

How could I not have cracked it open? 

How could I have ever, in a million years, guessed that when I opened it up at random I’d find this (sorry it’s sideways):

Image

Just in case you can’t read that it says, “This guy thought he had a great tattoo, P.T.O.”

On the back of the page it read,

“UNTIL HE WENT TO PRISON!!!!!!!”

And there it was, the thing that happened that made me laugh yesterday. 

On the next page there was a printed photo of a naked lady with a penis super-imposed where her vagina should have been and on the page after that there was a picture of a guy driving a golf cart, with a naked lady on the front.  Every page after that was just a bunch of boring magazine articles about golf. 

I was the only person in the store besides the gold-toothed shop owner and his wrinkly wife so I took the scrapbook up to the counter and said, “I highly recommend taking a look at the first few pages of this if you want a good laugh.”   

*(PTO apparently means Please Turn Over.  I’m not sure if this is a New Zealand thing or if I’ve just always been doing it wrong by writing (over) and drawing a little arrow)

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